so recently things change

Change!

The one thing that I was sure of is "change." I tell people how much I love it and how greatly it excites me. I anticipate it and live for it - at least so I told myself. Then things changed.

It is mental and may be classified a disorder by some that I do backtrack my actions and habits. I discovered recently that it is habitual for me to start sentences with "No, ..." even when I am in agreement and putting forth an ammendment to an existing notion. That cannot be a great way to win over the audience if one starts off disagreeing in the first word. It became a focus after realizing that there are unintended reactions and facial contortions in response to aspects of my conversations.

Party1: "I really thank you for helping me move the table; it would have taken forever to move without your kind help."

ME: "No, it is really nothing. It was my pleasure. You have done much more for me and I was glad I was of help."

What an egghead am I sometimes. I am working on it - to have my YES be yes and my NO be no.

Yes, I embrace change and then it changes.